BAFBA UPDATES.
Hot licks directly from Cahill Morgue (BAFBA Secretary), to your lounge.
|VAN DER GRAAF OPEN 09/01/20
Dear Members,
Unseasonably warm weather seems to have encouraged a larger than expected crowd at this year’s annual Van Der Graaf Open which concluded on Monday last – neither would he have left disappointed!
Following the surprise late-stage withdrawal of Ken Mews (IBS), and, as yet, still unexplained omission of bookies’ favourite, Hugh ‘The Cardinal’ Wiseman, pre-bastard attention fell on the intensifying standoff between Brenda Klaxon and diminutive sinewy dazzler, Polly Skiboots. By late Sunday evening, the irascible Klaxon appeared to have bagged it yet again, opening up a three-punnet margin with just the Van Der Graaf’s customary concluding demi-bastard left to play. A typically spirited performance from ‘The Biggle Beagle’ on Monday morning, however - including a quite exceptional triple Wurlitzer in the penultimate punnet – ensured that Klaxon had to draw on every one of her forty-two years competitive experience, eventually grinding the younger player down with a stolid, if predictable, sequence of Leamingtons to take the bout 26 - 24.
A fabulous start to 2020, I trust we can all agree. See you in Paris, Polly!
Sincerely, as ever,
Cahill Morgue, BAHons
BAFBA Secretary
|2020 bAFBA events 17/12/19
Dear Members,
Outside of our classic tournament schedule, we have events coming out of our ears in 2020 - there’s something for almost everyone:
Celebrity Raffle - A raffle featuring a celebrity announcer (TBC - celebrity to be selected by a panel of experts, and tombola to be purchased for raffle).
BAFBA Bake Off - A ‘slice’ of fun as your BAFBA heroes go toe to toe in the kitchen - fighting for pride and glory. The (oven) gloves are off.
Raffle - Another raffle (non-celebrity version, pending purchase of tombola).
Cake Sale - Bake off comes to BAFBA! It’s best buns forward, as your BAFBA stars fight in the kitchen again.
Cinema Night - Movie classics are available in the comfort of your own home 24/7.
Quiz Night - We’ve approached representatives of several high profile ex-quiz champions for advice on our BAFBA Pub Quiz Gala.
Celebrity Auction - We’re hoping to auction some Celebrities to raise funds for BAFBA Research.
Masquerade Ball / Drag Night - Watch hilarity unfurl as we ‘drag’ Boules into the realm of the masked mysterio.
Fashion Show - The latest seasonal Boules-wear will be unfurled in this hot all-ticket event.
Improv Night - Come marvel at the inauspicious talents of BAFBA’s more experimental and spontaneous membranes.
More events to be announced, with details to be announced when ready.
See you again, at one of our events.
Cahill Morgue, BAHons
BAFBA Secretary
|BAFBA AGM 09/07/18
Dear Members,
The date and venue has been set for our Annual AGM Meeting. It will take place at Pryhill Gardens in Ipswich on August 22nd, as is traditional.
There will be a raffle and prizes available, and refreshments will also be available for Members only. May I stress that this is a MEMBERS ONLY event, and non-Members will be escorted from the premises as they were last year. The problem is that non-Members simply can't help themselves but help themselves to our refreshments, leaving only backwash, gip and dribbles for paying Members to consume. Alcohol will be able between 6.30 and 7, but the bar will close promptly in due course.
Topics for discussion this year:
BAFBA Fundraising Issues
New BAFBA Bursar
BAFBA Admin errors
New BAFBA Administrators
Refreshments
Guest Speaker/s:
Yvonne Fiend and Russell Makegood (from Volcano Management Systems) on managing Fundraising and Admin issues
May I also add that we've been given assurances (and then further reassurances) that the Travellers occupying the North Paddock near the Clubhouse at Pryhill will be moved on safely, ahead of this important get together. Quite why they don't add the word 'Time' to their tribe name I'll never know - people would give 'Time Travellers' a much easier and more understanding ride then these folk who come along and let their kids/dogs run shit show heavy over our green and pleasant land.
'Time Travellers' that pissed gamely wherever they so chose would probably be seen as innovators and pioneers, rather than filthy gimboids and unsavoury dirtbags.
I don't get it.
See you (Members Only please) at Pryhill,
Cahill Morgue, BAHons
BAFBA Secretary
| New Season FIXTURES 27/06/18
Dear Members,
Some fresh dates for your diaries... our Tour Calendar has been updated for the upcoming 2018/19 BAFBA Season, kicking off at Twicks Green in September.
Full Details TBC. Tickets go on auction at Noon on August 8th, via our usual distributors.
Fresh Sponsorship to be announced in due course.
That's all,
Cahill Morgue, BAHons
BAFBA Secretary
| GIB CUP - SEASON FINALE 27/05/18
Dear Members,
May I be the first to congratulate Mike Blend on his narrow victory over the weekend. A first Gib Cup for the madcap Yorkshireman, and WHAT a performance.
A bumper crowd descended on Great Haxby for our end of tour showcase, and although most left caked in mud and rain, they also left with a song in their heart and a spring in their heel.
First class entertainment was provided, and our new alcohol ban was respected by the majority of patrons. Hopefully we'll be able to weed out any potential stag parties next year, so there'll be less streaking/cartwheeling interrupting play, otherwise the event passed off with few incidents to concern stewards. Indeed, chief steward, Rod, claimed that undesirable behaviour was down a whopping 12% on last year's fiasco.
It's certainly nice to be able to focus on the gameplay, rather than the antics of a few fuck**g morons.
To those responsible for the urination issue, I've been told that CCTV footage has been recovered and that those responsible will be brought to justice.
Very Sincerely,
Cahill Morgue, BAHons
BAFBA Secretary
| STAFF REQUIRED 23/01/18
Dear Members,
A position has become available in our Admin Team, following the shameful behaviour of Keith Witness, who neglected to send out the invites for today's Paris Invitational.
Keith WITLESS, more like.
I can offer a competitive reimbursement package, local discounts, and my personal regards.
Please contact me for details.
Sincerely,
Cahill Morgue, BAHons
BAFBA Secretary
| PARIS INVITATIONAL 22/01/18
Dear Members,
Humble apologies are in order. Please note that the Paris Invitational, due to take place tomorrow, has now been cancelled due to an administrative error. The invites were not sent out 'in time'. Please seek refunds from your local travel agents.
Fear not, swift and decisive action has been taken. To protect their identity, I will only state that the administrator/s involved has/have been relieved of his/her/their duties.
His membership card has also been revoked, as has his discount at Oak Furniture Land.
Golden Regards,
Cahill Morgue, BAHons
BAFBA Secretary
| CHristmas party 16/12/17
Dear Members,
I woke up this morning with no trousers on but still wearing my shoes and socks from last night. It's fair to say I had a lovely time at the Club Xmas dinner.
Just to prevent any unsavoury rumours, I did actually make it home in the end - the policemen were firm, but fair, and decided not to press charges. It was all a big misunderstanding, and I have already apologised to the Mayor for any misinterpretation of my actions.
I would agree that scaling the lighting rig was dangerous, and unbecoming of a man such as myself, however physically impressive it may have been. I could have also chosen my words more carefully as I left the venue, especially given the audience and occasion. The shouting/dancing (though I dispute 'goading') was especially uncalled for, and I can assure you all that I'd never usually swear at a child.
In other news, has anyone seen my wallet/car keys/car?
Well done everyone,
Cahill Morgue, BAHons
BAFBA Secretary
| VAN DER GRAAF OPEN 12/12/17
Dear Members,
Please note that the Van Der Graaf Open, due to take place next month, has now been cancelled due to weight of traffic.
Refreshments will no longer be provided, and hotel bookings have been nullified.
Further updates will appear here in due course, if appropriate and/or necessary.
Please also note that my wife, Valerie, will be appearing in Mother Goose at the Uttmouth Pavilion over the yuletide season - contact her directly for heavily discounted tickets. She would like to stress that there are lots of tickets still available, and could you please ask friends, plus close and extended family if they know of anyone else who would like to come.
Just to clarify, all are welcome.
Very best,
Cahill Morgue, BAHons
BAFBA Secretary